


Welcome to Nowhere

by riley_mae_18



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Hebrew, Logan is the General, Logan’s confused, Lots of sarcasm, M/M, Roman Virgil and Patton are Jewish, The Band’s Visit, no translation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 19:22:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15564735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riley_mae_18/pseuds/riley_mae_18
Summary: In the middle of nowhere is a town known as Bet Hatikvah. A military band arrives in the twin by mistake and must stay the night with those who live there. Though only one day passes, no one in the small town is likely to forget the Band’s Visit anytime soon.





	Welcome to Nowhere

Roman had gone to the cafe in town to visit his friends Patton and Virgil when he saw a bus coming through their small remote town of Bet Hatikvah. He continued his conversation with Virgil as he saw men in military uniforms coming over to the restaurant. He tapped Virgil and Patton’s shoulders to direct their attentions to the men coming over to them. They spoke in broken English and one very professional looking man stepped out to address them. 

“Hello, we are the military orchestra of Egypt, we have been sent to Petah Tikva for a concert. Can you please direct us to the concert hall?” The man asked in his best English and waited for them to point him in the direction he had asked for. 

The three men looked at each other, “ ? הוא יודע שזאת התקווה, נכון” Virgil asked to him and he shrugged his shoulders before turning to the man and spewing in his thick accent.

“You are looking for Petah Tikva,this is Bet Hatikvah.” He said slowly. 

The man cocked and eyebrow and looked between the three, “yes, Pe Tatikvah... this is Petah Tikva, no?” He asked. 

The three Israeli men tried to communicate that they weren’t in their desired city before Patton articulated it well, “Petah Tikva, with a ‘P’. You aren’t there” he looked at the man and saw the pure confusion on his face, “you are in Bet Hatikvah, with a ‘B’.” Roman smirked at the general man before adding onto the description.

“Petah Tikva has fun, and art, and culture. This is the opposite. It’s dessert and cement. Welcome to nowhere.” He waved around the town before pointing at the apartments in the distance, “oh look! Apartments! So interesting!” He then gestured to the cafe they were stood in front of, “Gaze upon the cafe!” He then gestured between the two buildings, “while you’re here, be sure to explore both. They’re the most exciting thing we have here.” He snarked and gestured to the lazy Susan on the tables outside.

Patton looked at the men and said, “תראו את זה” He then spun the lazy Susan and gasped at it in faux shock. 

Virgil stopped it and said to the men, “זה אפילו טוב יותר” He then spun it in the opposite direction and the three of them gasped louder and applauded as Virgil bowed low. 

The general didn’t seem amused at their display and spoke to one of his soldiers before turning back to the three of them, “would we be able to stay here until we are able to leave for Petah Tikva tomorrow?” He asked them and Virgil spoke up before they could comprehend what the stranger had said.

“We all have apartments that you and your band could stay at, just until you can leave tomorrow.” He said and didn’t look to see the reactions of Roman and Patton.

The general smiled politely, “it would be appreciated” he said simply as he gave orders to his orchestra before they split off to settle in. 

Roman pulled Virgil aside and angrily said, “? למה הצעת את הדירה שלי”

Virgil shrugged and responded, “. הם היו צריכים מקום לשהות בו הלילה” he smirked and followed after the band to lead a group to his apartment.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first fic written on here, so I hope you enjoy. This story is based off of the 10 time Tony award winning musical, the Band’s Visit. In the show they speak Hebrew and Arabic with no translation of what is being said, so I tried implementating that here. (Note, I was informed of errors in my writing, so if there are anymore things that I got wrong, please point them out so that I can improve my work) I hope you enjoyed, I will be writing more things inspired by this show (and many others) in the future! (If the language is incorrect, please correct me so that I can make it the best I possibly can)


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